Self-Reflection

I've been noticing that I am increasingly becoming impatient and easily irritable. I don't know whether it's because I am stressed out, or if it's something more than that. I used to have a very high tolerance for people in general, and could easily befriend those with very different personality types than myself. After all, wasn't that the point of college? Meeting those who come from different places, different backgrounds, and finding something in common? Namely, your friendship and the willingness to see each other's views? Not so much anymore. I've heard that the older you become, the harder it is to make new friends. I think it's true. It's not so easy to accept everyone for who they are, and I'm finding that to be truer with the passing of each day. Personality traits that I once found tolerable and and not even remotely bothersome now annoy the living shit out of me. It's strange, I always thought that as I grew older, I would become more patient. But the opposite seems to be true. I don't know what it is, but I know I'm no longer the tolerant person I used to be. And I don't care. I don't care for false sincerity, the facades we sustain for so long since middle school, high school, college, and beyond. It's become tiresome. I just want those I care deeply for to be near me, and honestly, the number has remained constant for many years. The true friendships I have sustained throughout the years have become so much more rich and meaningful to me as I move to a new chapter of my life.

But damn, what happened to my tolerance, my acceptance of all and everyone? Have I outgrown it? I find it liberating in a sense but I also find it a bit unnerving. It's very difficult to love those who are so different from you. It is my sincere belief that those that come from similar backgrounds just meld well together. There is an unspoken understanding that is present that nobody else can detect.

On another note, my pledge sister and I are going to Burke-Williams on December 22nd because we both have gift certificates that we haven't used since we received them about three years ago because neither of us had anyone to go with! I am really excited.