Last Night

Last night I had a very vivid dream, albeit not very exciting or prophetic in any way, but a dream that reflects my current state of mind. I had a dream that I had to join my friends for a leisurely dinner at a restaurant. I left the table for a few minutes and came back, but to my surprise, the table moved to another section of the restaurant. Their section was on top of a very very tall hill, covered in very tall pine trees. I looked down at my feet and realized I was barefoot and would have to trek up this hill, stepping on branches, pebbles, and what not. I was at the bottom of the hill, looking up at the journey I would have to endure in order to reach the top to join my friends again. I stood next to a large and mighty pine tree and leaned against it, its scratchy bark leaving imprints on my arm. I looked upwards at the hill. It was pretty much vertical, almost like the tree. I began my slow journey up the hill, sliding down about two feet for every three steps I took. It was not easy. But I looked to my left, and realized there was a metal chain link that I could grab that would help me up the hill, much like something mountain-climbers use when scrambling up a mountain-top. I grabbed this chain-link rope and steadied myself against the hill and took one step, two steps, until I scurried up this hill up to the top. There, I found myself alone, with one solitary picnic table on the top. By this point, I had forgotten about the dinner that I was supposed to make it back to and I sat at the picnic table, reflecting on the climb that I just completed and wondered what was next.

I feel as though this dream reflects my current state of mind because everything that I want to accomplish at this point in my life will require arduous sacrifice and I am completely aware of that. I also know that I have a tendency to compare my accomplishments with the accomplishments of others (this tendency, I'm sure, can be attributed to my competitive nature that has pretty much dissipated since my childhood) and become irate/depressed when I do not feel as though I have merited any accomplishments when others have. This, I feel, explains why I was so eager to join my friends again but to me, it is interesting that at the end, I completely forget about the dinner.

This morning, I woke up and I was exhausted, which was rather strange considering the fact that I went to bed at 10:45PM. I really felt as though I had physically climbed that hill last night. I could almost feel the dirt between my toes and the tension in the palms of my hands as I had gripped that metal link rope fiercely as I dug my heels into the hill.