I revel in the idyllic quiet of Saturday mornings.
That being said, I am now going to focus my attention on the Internet. The Internet, yes, the Internet with a capital "I," has become a central part of my life. To me, the Internet is an-encompassing entity with an infinite amount of knowledge that I use everyday. My relationship with the internet began in 6th grade. My dad, being the tech-savvy individual he is, decided that it was time for us to embark on a journey. The AOL journey. A journey that most of us have been on. My first screen name was Dream927. Or it was something else equally nauseating. I'm pretty sure it was that one, however. I used "Dream" because at that time, in Westlake, Ohio, the GAP scents were very popular. Dream was my favorite one because the icon was a cloud and it just smelled heavenly. So there you go. Dream927. At this point in time, my relationship with the internet was very lighthearted, very unlike the abusive relationship it has now become. But more on that later. I used my cute little pre-adolescent SN to chat with my family friends in other states and that was about it.
Then, I entered that stage in every Asian-American adolescent's life that they are all embarrassed of, that is, if they've actually left it. If you're still in it, you won't feel any shame and that's okay, you shall realize it eventually and weep tears of sorrow. I entered, what is commonly known as, the AZN/KRN phase. Even now, when I look at my pictures, I cringe. What an embarrassing period in my younger teenage years. At this point in time, my relationship with the internet turned into a way to show my AZN/KRN "pride" and to find others who had the same ideological beliefs as me. My SN changed into something mortifying: KiMcHeExbAbE. If you are going to pass judgment on me because of this, then so be it. I didn't want you as a friend anyways. Anyways, at this point in time, I spent a lot more time on the internet, so much, to the point that my dad eventually uninstalled AOL from my computer (but I just reinstalled it while he was at work), he took away the phone cable (I just got one from the garage), he then REMOVED the cable jack from the wall (I just found another one), and then he gave up. As you can see, my relationship with the internet had progressed from "Just Friends" to "In a Serious Relationship." I was in the thick of love with the internet.
Fast-forward a few years to now, I don't feel like delving into my relationship with the Internet during my stint as an undergraduate at UCI. Just know that it consisted of Myspace, Facebook (about 50 times per day), and Lexis-Nexis (very rarely). Oh, and towards, the end, Monster, CareerBuilder, UCI Career Center, and others of that ilk. Nowadays, I am trying to free myself from the destructive binds of the Internet. I'm being melodramatic here, it's not exactly destructive, but it's easy to rely on the Internet for everything when you know there is a wealth of knowledge to be found there. I recently realized how closely of a death grip the Internet had on me when my year-old Toshiba Satellite died. First of all, what a piece of shit, it dies right after the warranty expires. Secondly, what am I to do with all this time after work? I used to come home from work, cook dinner, go online, and go online some more until it was time for bed. And do it all over again. Now, I had this expanse of time from 5:30PM to about 9:30PM where it wasn't filled with webpage after webpage of interesting articles, job searches, etc. At first, I was grieving. Then, I realized my grieving was quite empty. Then came LIBERATION! I had freed myself from the confines of the internet, the shackles had been broken! I began reading again. I actually painted with the paints that I had bought in Santa Monica months ago. I really truly realized what it means to discover yourself. It doesn't mean you sit on your ass and you pore over job board after job board, waiting for that ONE job to call out to you and say "THIS IS YOUR CALLING, CLICK APPLY AND A MYSTICAL FUTURE OF MONEY AND PRESTIGE AWAITS YOU." You do the things you love, and you will slowly (very slowly for me, apparently) come to terms with who you are and what you are meant to be. I'm still in that phase, trying to figure everything out.
I am now going to get off the internet (now with a small "i"), clean my apartment, and enjoy the wonderful weekend that awaits me.
