Black Mood

I like black hair. I like black clothing. I like black shoes. But I do not like black moods, which is unfortunately what I'm in right now. There has to be more to life than just going through the motions. How many times have I read that sentence in every post-adolescent novel/coming-of-age story? It sounds so ridiculously cliche, and nowadays, everything I think seems to be so unfortunately cliche but I find myself wondering what the meaning of my life is every single day. It has be to something more than what I'm doing right now. I feel as though I'm capable of more, but I'm not sure of what. I then ponder if I've just overestimated my abilities for the past 23 years of my life and that maybe this is it. It can't be. If this was it, I would not be this dissatisfied. I can't seem to find a permanent solace from my mental turmoil in anything. It's almost like dealing with the aftermath of a failed relationship. It's always on your mind, following you wherever you go. You can try to drown out the pain and the depression with copious amounts of alcohol, your friends, family, etc. but when you are alone in the silence of your thoughts, sometimes the stark truth of your own shortcomings and failures are just too much to handle.